iE.S Post-humus

The evolutionary arms race

When I was 4 years old, my dad sat me down to watch a groundbreaking BBC series on the TVB PEARL channel in HK. This single series probably sparked off my fascination to the animals, natural history and to Carnivores. It taught me the concepts of evolution, differential survival, genetic heredity, the food chain and basic taxonomy long before I even learnt the grammer structure of English( i watched it in cantonese dub). This series was ‘The Velvet Claw’ by David Macdonald.

For my birthday in Primary 3, my Dad ordered a copy of the book that the series was based on; aptly titled The Velvet Claw.  Amazon.com was relatively still new and it took them 1 year to deliver it our doorsteps. It became my birthday present in primary 4.

But I was silly and foolish. Muddle-headed and clumsy. I left it on a taxi within months of getting it. i barely finished the introduction chapter. The loss of this knowledge treasure trove devastated me, even though I had a tough time understanding what I was reading.

Since then… I have searched for a replacement book for 12 years. 12 longs years… Each time I managed to convince my dad to lend me his creditcard to access Amazon, I search high and low for this book. Each time, I was greeted with ‘out of publication since 1994′ or ‘delivery to within the States only’.
When I was old enough to go out in upper secondary, I used to secretly go to Kino counter and asked if this book was available.

This cycle carried on this 2 weeks ago.  while ordering textbooks online, I casually browsed for this book. And this morning….

 Did I mention that ticking this off my bucket list costed only $0.89 for the book??
God Loves me.

pedrospeciality II - Soya Chicken!

pedrospeciality III - Mixed Fried Rice

Carrot-Potato-Onion soup with mushrooms

 I can always be a house-husband.
Did I mention that I am a SAF- certified area cleaner as well?

The Gay Tailor of Pig Sty Alley

Roger Moore as 007

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

Enjoying Film modules without exams, replaced with research thesis papers on
the portrayal of homosexuality in chinese martial arts, 
the foreseeing of globalisation through the James Bond series and
the film history of Godzilla.

This will be the best academic semester yet. =)

search prompt as of 5th feb 2010

I’m fine. I’m safe. It wasn’t me. But seriously, this is whack.

thanks everyone. but some truths just can’t be hidden or ignored.
The feeling is like joining Singapore Idol and making a fool of yourself. all you could wish for is that less people know about your attempt.

**edit**
just in case that certain good pal is reading this, no… you’ll know I won’t mean it that way, but I just can’t find a better to phrase it. But this time, I werent misportayed, I messed meself up by meself.

Term and Conditions.

After slaving the weekend away and hours away from the deadline,
I am very resigned to the fact that my very first overseas film production might be disqualified due the appearance of a background logo in 3 seconds that essential to the film.
Oh, Miss Mise-en- Scene and my lazy eyes, why thoust betrayst me again?

“There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer “
-Oleta Adams

You are awesome.  Thank God for you.

The anger in my heart has cooled down with the winter’s breeze.
Like the firm hard-pressed snow on the road, my heart is finally hardened and cold.

Without knowing it, I have uploaded my humanity on to facebook and there I find security and solace. There I reconstruct the little pond life I enjoyed in WKW.
I surf around on fb and see my ex-classmates scattering across the world.  But wherever they go, they have CS companionship. I keep wondering, why did I choose this path?

I chose to go alone. I chose to experience something beyond my comfort zone. I chose not to stay in a hostel. I chose not have security. I chose to source for life on my own. I chose all of it. But now, I got a lot more than what I bargained for.

The winter’s cold breeze does wonder to the soul. It freezes and flakes off all my layers of security and comfort. I see the ugly world. I see my ugly self. Like a prawn in district 9, that was me. Like I said, the fiery anger has subsided and all that remains… is a harder colder heart.

I am beginning to enjoy Georgia. Life is tough here. But people are generally friendlier. They are more willing to help you up with a good hello or ‘how’s it going?’. they remember your names and like making conversations. The little warmth in the frigid winds.

School, on the other hand, is really the smoothest thing so far. This is probably also the first time I am posting up registered subjects, but since its on exchange, heck.

1. The U.S Government
2. Introduction to International Relations
3. Great Power Relations
4.  Global Cinema
5. Film History
6. Special Topics in Film – Martial Arts

This will be a very very very heavy semester. But let it be good. sigh.

the stream is freezing up

 I woke up. 530am and msn was up. My heater was in my face. warmth. something I have lacked for the past week. I looked briefly at my blog, unupdated. duh. I never had the chance to. cold. its still so cold.
Life in USA has been a mess I think. my first house was a scam, no heating, broken doors and windows unprotected for robberies to occur. slept in fear every night until I moved out. damn fuckin landlord. thank goodness Garen found this new one recommended by the school.

I look back at my watch. time to prepare for orientation and subject registration.

6 hours later. I’m in the hall. listening to the dean. Time to split us up into my majors.

 Lo and behold! out of the few hundred exchange and transfer students: I am THE ONLY DAMN liberal arts student. My student ogl looks agitated that he has to bring only one student to my academic advisors.  He looks more interested in being with his gf, so he dumped me to business, telling me that its the same.  I only found out he was bumming out after walking 20 mins in the cold. asswipe. Matt Fox. I remember his name.

Fuck the system. we need to see advisors to register for courses and to lift bans. screw them all. Some staff tried to help me, but it seems that every direction they gave me is slightly wrong.  So in the end, I can’ depend on the student council or the staff. So I walked alone around the campus to sought out what I need. useless SCAMs.

If there is anything America is teaching me, it is that I got to be an asshole to survive here. Trust no one but yourself. delegate to none but you. Because if it can screwed up by others, it will screw up at precisely the area you can’t afford it to at the time you need it to work. Trust no one.

The cold has made my heart bitter and cold, save some small warm spots reserved for those who matters.

As I walked in the falling snow, steam fuming out of my mouth. I look at them dissapate into the cold wind. Let me count the friends I have. The numbers seem to fallin every day. soon, I can count them by my frozen fingers.